A Praying Life (Ch.12-23) by Paul E. Miller
This
reflection is the continuation of A Praying Life by Paul E. Miller,
starting from Chapter 12-23 (Part 3 to some parts of Part 4). In Part 3,
“Learning to Ask Your Father,” Miller explores the struggles we face in asking
God for help. In Part 4, “Living in Your Father’s Story,” he shows how a true
praying life helps us see and trust the bigger story God is writing in our
lives.
I was deeply
moved by what Paul E. Miller shared on pages 96–98 about how Enlightenment
thinking has weakened spiritual practices and made even children afraid to
express their faith. He mentioned his daughter Emily, who was scared to write
in her science notes that she prayed, and young Luke, who hid the fact that he
prayed for his father in Iraq. These stories were heartbreaking and made me
realize how such culture can easily spoil the children and make them feel
ashamed of their faith. It challenged me to pray more intentionally for my two
sons, Jenchung and Kalan, because the world is heading in a dangerous
direction, and they may face the same struggles. I must be alert to the
cultural pressures shaping their hearts. And also, this challenged me to be not
ashamed of my prayer life. If it is the need of an hour for me to pray whether
at home or public, I must not afraid to communicate with God.
I am deeply grateful to
my mother for teaching me how to pray. Growing up, we often spent our evenings
after dinner in prayer. From a very young age, our whole family consistently
prayed for over 15 years, asking God to give my father a permanent job position.
My father used to work in a government sector but he was never given a
permanent post due to some tribalism or community preferences. But that prayer
was never answered. For a long time, I struggled to understand why. Reading A
Praying Life, I was especially struck by Paul E. Miller’s words: “I often find
that when God doesn’t answer a prayer, he wants to expose something in me.”
This helped me see things differently. Maybe God was not ignoring my family,
but instead using the unanswered prayer to reveal our weakness or grow our
faith. This insight challenged me to stop seeing unanswered prayer as failure and
instead, to accept it with trust and humility.
Being a pastor has never been easy for me. During my
three years of ministry, I often struggled with gaining respect, and I even
felt pressured to compromise my doctrinal convictions just to earn the title
“Reverend” from my church association. To meet people’s
expectations, I forced myself to appear very spiritual. I tried to pray in ways
that sounded impressive so others would admire me. But the more I thought about
it, the more I realized that loving Christ must be more important than gaining
titles or recognition. Paul E. Miller reaffirmed this conviction in A Praying
Life (p. 139), where he reflects on Jesus’ teaching in Matthew 6. Jesus warns
us not to use spirituality as a way to seek power or glory. He tells us to pray
in private (6:5–8), to fast quietly (6:16–18), and to give without making it
public (6:1–4). Miller highlights how Jesus “closes the door to getting your
identity from your own righteousness.” This helped me examine my own motives
and reminded me that true spirituality is hidden and humble. It is about
intimacy with God, not performance before people.
As a husband, I have often focused more on correcting
my wife than on praying for her. I usually only pray for her when she is unwell
or going through a difficult time; apart from that, I typically pray for her
once a week. While I do appreciate her willingness to point out helpful things like
encouraging me to give up social media to reduce stress and grow in my walk
with God. I realized I have not been equally gracious or prayerful toward her.
I tend to talk to her more about what she needs to change, rather than lifting
up her more in prayer. Paul E. Miller, in A Praying Life (p. 133), challenged
me deeply on this. He writes, “The adventure begins with asking God, Do I have
a critical spirit too? Do I respond to my wife’s critical spirit with my own
critical spirit?” This helped me see that often, what irritates us in others is
a reflection of something in ourselves. Miller points to Jesus’ teaching in
Matthew 7:1–5 about first removing the beam from our own eye. When we do that,
we release spiritual energy that can truly bless those around us. On page 134,
Miller adds simply, “Praying steadily for his wife will help him to become more
aware of her as a person.” This convicted me. I realized that prayer is not
just about asking God to change her but it is about God changing me too. Going
forward, I want to shift from criticism to intercession.
One of
my fears has been facing people who challenge my faith by asking for visible
evidence of God’s goodness in my life. I often feel pressure to be a living
example of God’s grace; someone whose life clearly shows that God is real and
active. A powerful moment in A Praying Life (p. 123) was when Paul E. Miller
responded to a skeptic, not with debate, but by sharing real stories of
answered prayer. When the skeptic asked for proof, Miller let him randomly
choose one of his prayer cards. To everyone’s surprise, the card held a
dramatic answer to prayer, an unexpected $50,000 donation that helped launch a
full-time prayer ministry. The skeptic was visibly moved and left more open to
the reality of God. This story encouraged me deeply. It reminded me that I do
not have to prove God’s goodness by my own efforts like communication skills,
trying hard to be a good husband and father. Instead, I should pray more
faithfully, trusting God to work in ways that clearly show His power and
goodness through my life.
Reflecting on A Praying Life
(Chapters 12–23) has been both convicting and encouraging. Paul E. Miller’s
insights have helped me see that prayer is not about performance or outward
appearances, but about humble dependence on God and trusting His story in my
life. Whether it is in my role as a pastor, husband, or father, I have been
challenged to cultivate a deeper, more honest prayer life. Through this book, I
am encouraged to show my love and care for my wife through prayer and in this
way, God will change me as well as change her to be a better and godly couple. Through
this book, I am also encouraged to pray more intentionally for my sons so that they would be bold enough to show their love for God
in private or in public. Through stories, Scripture, and personal examples,
this book reminded me that the work of God in us is often quiet but powerful,
and that a faithful praying life reveals His grace more clearly than any
outward success ever could.
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